Whatever Comes To My Mind

There are times when I can’t help but be thankful with the things around me today. You see when I graduated elementary my mama asked me if I could stop going to school which means let my two elder brothers finish high school before I can go. We were struggling with only Papa’s income coming in. My two elder brothers went to a Catholic high school. I remember mama and I were on the stairs in the old house. She said we could not make it anymore if I had to go besides she didn’t even go to high school. I cried for days. I begged her to let me go but Papa has always been adamant when it comes to education. He said we will all go and we will figure it out. Getting their own education was one of the things they both wanted but their parents didn’t believe in it. Papa wants us to have what they didn’t have before.

It was rough in high school. I always worry if I will have money to pay for my tuition fee every month. Would you even believe that I only have one jumper uniform from first year to third year? It was a wash and wear. I never complained because I knew our eldest brother was already in college taking engineering. I envy my classmates before who had everything. I had clothes that were handed down from my brothers and their old backpacks. I don’t even remember that I ever had a new backpack in high school but I have always been determined to finish school.

When I graduated high school, my problem is how can we ever afford for me to go to college. Papa really wanted me to be an accountant and I wanted to fulfill that dream for him. I applied as a working student in one of the top Universities in Cebu. There were 900 applicants and they only need 50 students. We took tests left and right until there were only 50 of us left. Yes I made it to top 50. I was so excited but was later disappointed when I realized that I couldn’t take accounting classes if I am a working student. Although another alternative was taking Education. I went home sad and told my parents. The last option I had was take Education at Cebu Normal University. For those who doesn’t know, it is hard to get in CNU. As they say you have to have the talent and the brain to get in there. The school is government funded and only offered 3 courses: nursing, education and AB. I told Papa that I will take education for now but when I graduate I will find a way to finish accounting. I never thought I will love teaching until I was in second year. My college years were not as bad because my eldest brother had already started teaching and was giving me my allowance every payday. So to make the long story short, I graduated as the 18th of our graduating batch and also passed the civil service exam. I remember on our way home from my graduation I hugged mama and told her if I could have listened to her, I will never become a teacher. She said she didn’t mean to do that but that was the only way out she can think of and shed some tears. A week later got hired in an international school and passed the teacher’s board exam without reviewing.

You might be wondering why I am trying to looking back now? It’s because two days ago a friend of mine uploaded some pictures of her vacation in the Philippines together with my high school classmates whom I looked up to before because they had everything. Nice clothes, shiny black shoes and new backpack. But as I was looking at them in the pictures, they have aged and changed a lot. Then I heard sad stories about their married and I felt sad for them. Most of them didn’t even finish school not that their parents couldn’t afford but they made bad choices. I really am happy on where I am right now. It is not a perfect life but I have a life and a loving family. I still don’t have the nice clothes or new stuff but it is a choice I made when I chose to help my sibling’s schooling instead. A co-worker before told me that it is not my responsibility to send my sisters to college. Yes it is not but I don’t want them to experience what I have been through. Besides, I want them to be better than I will ever become. Resty as an engineer and Ging-ging as a nurse.

Ok I am done venting out/looking back and thanks for reading. )

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