Whatever Comes To My Mind

What has gotten into me? That is what I kept asking myself. You see I am the type of person where you can’t just say no. When I was working at Target, there was a position that opened up. A lot of people that I talked to had discouraged me to apply for the position because the ones that worked there wasn’t able to handle it and either they requested to have themselves demoted or they quit. I thought of myself, “Is that really that hard?” but I have always been the person who wanted to prove them wrong so I went for it. I got the job and the people that worked for me loved me being there because we all worked. I turned it around and management were so pleased with my performance. Less than 6 months in the position, I saw another chance to be promoted again. Without hesitation, I applied for it. I was sent to a panel interview (as if I was going for NASA) and later I got the spot. My team members that worked for me were all sad but I kept telling them that I will still see them since I will be the immediate supervisor of whoever will replace me and they will still be working for me. It was fun and I actually missed it.

Anyways, after staying home for over 2 years I think my confidence has deteriorated big time. I am no longer that go getter that I used to be. About 3 weeks ago I jokingly asked my supervisor if there is a full time position available because I am looking for a full time job now. He immediately told me that they are actually hiring for area supervisor. I read the description and I wasn’t really into the position. I called Ryan at home and told him first hand that I won’t apply for it. He’s initial reaction was, “can you please stop being not confident“. I just laughed at his comment. I already told myself that I can’t do it after reading all the responsibilities. I am very qualified though but just the thought of having to change what I have been doing scared me so much. After being convinced by my team and Ryan, I was actually thinking of going for it but was still a little apprehensive. It was Papa who finally said something that changed my mind. He said:

“Manang if there is an opportunity go for it. Stop putting yourself down. Let them be the one to say no, not you.” and he was right. He then told me the opportunities that he didn’t let slip away while he was younger. He didn’t want to regret anything he said.

So today I went for the interview. I was so surprised that I wasn’t nervous at all (I usually am during interviews). There were 39 of us who applied for the position. I don’t know why I wasn’t nervous, probably because I wasn’t dying to get this job. It is different when you wanted to have the job so much that it gives so much pressure on you. I went in there and did by best. My resume was so detailed that they have to think of something to ask. Papa and Frankie came with me for moral support but instead of 2:00 p.m., I wasn’t interviewed until 3:00 p.m. because they were running behind. I think I did good but then again they still have the last say. One part of it that liked is training. I will be training new associates. If I get the job then I will be very thankful and if not, therefore it wasn’t meant for me. The salary is really really good though. I still have other options but I learned to take my time. Ryan is not pressuring me but it is me who wants to get a full time job right away. I am just afraid that I might not be able to take a vacation (to Pinas) next March if I haven’t work there for a year. That is my only fear but I figure, if we can’t make it on her graduation, we will make it in the same year somehow. The support of the people around here are so overwhelming. Below is Ryan’s email that he sent before I went for the interview.

Hi Sweety, God Bless on the interview, I know you will do great. I will see you when I get home. Love u, Baby

Comments are closed.