Tools

Papa made a lot of people happy when we went home to the Philippines. You see, last summer Papa worked at my friend's house. He was fixing up their house while my friend watches Frankie. All those times, he saved what he made and some he sent home for my sister's expenses in college. What he saved, he used to get tools for himself and for some of our relatives back home who could not afford tools for work. He got a couple of clamps, hammer, saw, hammer belt and more. We didn't bring it with us in the plane though, but we sent it by mail. I have an uncle who keeps borrowing tools for his work from his co-worker, and he was so happy when Papa gave him some. It also made Papa happy to see that they are grateful with what he got them.

Poverty

I came from a big family. I have two elder brothers and two younger sisters. If you think five is big, think again. I have tons of cousins. My one aunt had thirteen children while my other aunt has nine kids and the lists goes on. It wouldn't be that bad if my uncles had a good job, but they don't. Worst it, the father of those thirteen kids doesn't have any job and rely heavily with my aunt who is tilling the farm. I really don't think that is fair.

Another way to help them survive is through sending my cousins to the city. As soon as they hit the age of twelve, my aunt would usually find a home where my cousins could work as a nanny/housemaid to feed the rest of the family.

I really don't mind family members helping each other. I have helped my sisters get through college, so I have nothing against it. The one big issue I have with that is parents spitting out babies not even thinking if they have a future to give to their children. Sure, I hated my mom when she was pregnant with our youngest. Well, actually we all hated my mom because we thought that we are too old to be having another baby sister, but when we saw our youngest sister for the first time, all our madness went away. Then again, my father was very responsible. My father worked and provided for all of us.

Families in the Philippines doesn't get any help from the government unlike here in the United States. It doesn't matter how many kids do you have, you have to support it because the government is very poor as well. My cousins didn't have to work like that to provide for the family that they did not create. They worked while my aunt gets all their salary, so she has something to bring to the family. It is not right and never will be. Why create if you could not support?

Summer Project

I promised Ryan that Papa and I will be fixing up the living room. Since my younger sister is done with school, I figure to do a project in the house with what I make doing blogging. All these time, I have used it in a good way, and I want to keep on doing it rather than spending it with nonsense. I plan to replace the brown wall and Dad will help us move the door. We are going to put up moldings too that will match with the dining table. We also need to replace the fixture by the dining table and put new ceiling fans for the three bedrooms. We have one in our bedroom, but it feels like it is about to fall off the ceiling every time we use it. It looks to dangerous to me, we really need another one. Well I hope I am going to have enough for my little project; if not then, we could always do it little by little.

Uncertainty

I don't like the uncertainty of today's time. I was just reading the news at work earlier, and it was so sad to read stories of people who had given up their lives because they lost their jobs. Some of them felt like it was the end of the world and even killed their children to spare them from pain. There are random killings everywhere even reckless drivers on the streets. It is very sad that is why I made sure that I have my own life insurance policy. It took me awhile to get it because Ryan made sure that we will get a good policy. I was the one who insisted so that if something happens to me, they don't have to worry about me.

Past Time - Day II

Ging-ging and Moi duet

I have been meaning to sing duet with my sister and record it. On our second day in the Philippines, my brother decided to rent 2 big karaokes with tons of songs in it. It was also little Gadi's first birthday so we all had a blast. I was so happy that our video came out alright. Papa and Ging-ging also had one but it did not turn out well. One thing I truly missed was singing with my Manoy Gayfred. Our favorite is "You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore" but they don't have it in the karaoke. Well, next time I will make sure to record that for remembrance.

After the singing, we went to pick up Uncle Don and Iya Mylee at the airport. It was nice to see them again after so many years. It would have been twelve years for both of them. We took them to my brother's house after they dropped off their stuff at the hotel. It was nice to have everybody I love in one place. At around 10:00 p.m., I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore that I sat on the couch to sleep. It was exactly 24 hours of only 3 hours or less of sleep. I had a wonderful time.

Sleep

I am so happy that I have been getting more and more sleep than when we just got home from the Philippines. I didn't even know how I managed to stay awake all those times that I needed to work with only a few hours of sleep. Frankie was just so up that I couldn't go to bed and sleep. My diet was also affected last week. I didn't feel like eating anything, and I just want to sleep after I get off work. That was the time when I didn't need any women diet pills. I think in a day last week, I only ate once. I am static that my sleeping pattern is getting back to normal for I really needed as much energy as I could get since finals is coming up.

Calling Me Fat

I had three weeks well spent in the Philippines. We went to see people that I wanted to see and places that I wanted to visit. Unfortunately, I was not able to see friends from college because I spent most of my time with my family or with my aunt and uncle who came from Australia. They went to the Philippines just to see us, so that is why I didn't want to leave them.

Anyways, every time we go places to meet up people that we used to know when we were younger, they always tell me how much I gained weight. Yes, I looked like a stick when I was in the Philippines. I only weigh 99 lbs. then before I came here that is why they always looked so surprised to see me. One lady even said that she did not expect that I will still gain weight because I have always been really skinny. Sometimes I just smile but most of the time I hated being called fat. I probably need the help of clinicallix so when I go back there again, people will stop calling me fat.

Philippines - Day I

Mama did not come with them to pick us up at the airport. After the hugging and introducing at the airport, I was so anxious to keep going so that we could go home and see mama. We immediately got a yellow cab to take us home.

In the cab, Resty and Ging-ging were trying to make Frankie comfortable with them. Papa was in the front seat while Resty and Ging-ging were with us in the back seat. Manoy Gayfred and Nonong Tonette took the motorcycle home. I looked around. Everything seems so different. The SRP is now finished. I remember in 2003 when it wasn't half way done then in 2004 when Ryan and I came home, they were getting there. Some places looked so run down while others looks so new.

I didn't know what to expect on our way home. The way to our house had truly changed. There were a lot of houses this time and one will easily get lost if one doesn't know the way around. It was too dark too that I asked my sister to carry Frankie. When we finally got to our house, I opened the gate and mama had the biggest smile on her face. She yelled hello to Frankie and Frankie just looked at her. I gave her a hug and had tears in my eyes. She invited us in and asked us how our trip was. We talked for a little bit and insisted that we should get something to eat. I asked her to cook my favorite food, and she did and told me that it has been waiting for us in the kitchen.

A few minutes later, my two brothers arrived. We talked about a lot of things but mostly trying to get Frankie's attention. People were all over him, I should say. We were all exhausted but it didn't bother us because we were all just so happy to see each other. Here are the pictures below. Can you tell?

Look at how big mama's smile is and everyone is just staring at Frankie.

With A Ging-ging and A Rete plus George

Papa and I are so up because it is day time here in the US while everybody did not get to bed until 4:30 a.m. and some of them had to get up to go to work. Fun times!

Pain All Over

I was a little shocked to be back to work last Monday. I am still so used to of waking up late and having everything ready for me including breakfast while in the Philippines. Mama does it all for me over there. Here, I don't have any mama to spoil me. Thankfully, I don't have any truck that Monday because they moved it on Tuesday. There was price change scheduled, so I was able to catch some sleep because I didn't have to be in at 12:30 p.m.

I was half asleep when I came in that Tuesday. Frankie got up at 3:00 a.m. and I only got a few hours of sleep. I came in at seven and did the truck. I had over one thousand pieces, so I was taking my time to finish it. I didn't finish it that day but left a note to someone to do the rest that I left. When I got home, I was so tired. I so needed a joint pain relief. I was so sore all over the place especially on my back and my knees. I didn't want to go back the following day, but I had so much to do that I couldn't let it pass. I am feeling a little better right now. I am sure it was because I haven't have enough sleep and of course still fighting with jetlag.

Volleyball

It is almost that time of the year again when kids are out of school. The store that I am working with will be busy again with teenagers and kids shopping for shoes for the next school year. This is also the time when parents are trying to find something to occupy their kid's time while away from school. Some parents would put their kids in a learning new skill(s) program while others will engage their children into sports. I know a lot of people who do the latter because it allows their kids to be active during the summer. We all know how monotonous or boring school could be sometimes.

I remember when I was in high school; I joined the summer volleyball team at school. I am not really that good with it, but I was with my awesome friends that is why I wanted to go. Besides, I figure that after many days of practice, I should get the hang of it. Our coach was awesome so we decided to chip in and got him two personalized coach gifts. He really liked what we got him that he decided to place on his desk. It's been a while since I last played volleyball. Maybe when I met more Filipinas in the area, we could form a team. That would be awesome!

Terrible Jetlag

It is 12:30 A.M. now, and I just finished writing and just submitted my third essay paper for my English 102 class five minutes before its due. I knew this was going to happen. I wrote a second paper in the Philippines but could not find time to write the third one. The last week of our stay there was so hectic. There were so many people I wanted to see and so many places I wanted to visit. Good thing I was able to do all the things I wanted to do but sacrificing the little time I have for my English. At least it is done and hopefully I did ok with it.

All of us has been suffering from jetlag especially Frankie. When he is up, I don't have any choice but to get up even if I have to work the next day. Last Tuesday was terrible. I only have three hours of sleep. I fell asleep at around 11:00 p.m. and got up at 2:00 a.m. because Frankie was up. He didn't go back to sleep anymore, so I ended up staying up and took a shower and left for work. I came home to take a nap but that did not work because Dada wanted to tell me how day was and we ended up talking. Yesterday was another story because Frankie got up at 3:30 a.m. and I didn't have any choice again but to get up with him.

Thankfully, I gave away my hours today, so I could sleep some more and do my paper but it doesn't seem to me helping. I am still extremely tired and needs rest. I lay down but I couldn't sleep. Hopefully Frankie will stay asleep tonight but if not, I will just have to deal with it. Anyways, here is a picture of all of us and my siblings during my nephew's first birthday. I miss them so much.

Complete plus one!

Cigars

Before Papa, Frankie, and I flew to the Philippines, we already sent all our gifts through a balikbayan box for everybody. Everyone is very appreciative with the little gifts we sent them. My uncle, on the other hand, asked me if we brought some macanudo cigars for him. I didn’t know that he likes cigars because if I only knew; we would have bought him some. I know that he smokes cigarettes but not cigars. Well, maybe next time, when we come back here again. I will keep that in mind.

Summer

We have a very bare backyard when Ryan took the deck because it was falling apart. I really liked having it before because it was very convenient, and I don’t have to bring out any patio chairs. This summer however will be a different story. A friend of mind is giving us their patio set because they are moving. All we really need are outdoor patio cushions, so we can finally use them this summer. Although I won’t be doing much this summer because of school, but it is nice to come home and still be able to sit down and enjoy the summer. I am so looking forward to it.

Precious, You Are Precious

“Why me?” that was the question Precious wrote in her journal when she realized that her father died of Aids, and she is also HIV positive and luckily, not her son Abdul. The movie Precious had touched me in so many ways and somehow it hits home because I know a few people who had to undergo the same thing. How can a father/mother do such thing to their child/children?

Incest in a family not only ruins the family, but also the self-esteem of the abused. In the movie “Precious”, sixteen years old Claireece "Precious" Jones (Gabourey Sidibe) lives with her dysfunctional and abusive mother, Mary (Mo'Nique). She has been impregnated twice by her father, Carl. Precious’ first daughter “Mongo” who has down syndrome lives with her grandmother. She suffers long term physical, sexual, and mental abuse from her unemployed mother and from her father.

Although living in such a bad situation, Precious learned acceptance from the people that gave her importance and as the movie ends she separate herself from the influence of her mother and planned to complete a GED for herself, for her children and for their future.

Abused children from an abused family sometimes can do things to the extreme. One would lose hope in the future and finding love will be very hard. It would also be hard to open up to other people because there is always that fear of rejection. The other way would be doing things for the better and use the bad experience to challenge one’s self. I will never understand how parents could do such behavior to their children. Our children are precious and should be treated with respect and love.